Paranoid?
Para (stop) noid (like a noid) Paranoid (stop a noid). Paranoid.
Anyway, the other day I had to take a Xanax to control fear and anxiety. I didn't want to take one because of fear of what if I get a crazy reaction or a long lethargic outcome, what if it gives me fear and anxiety and I end up in the hospital. Argggg. I'll just take half of it and if all goes well then I can take the rest of it. Yes that's what I'll do. So, I did. I took half of a half. Yuk, bitter, sharp, intense, pungent flavor, yak, ten minutes after, I started getting dizy, I couldn't see straight and my heart started beating fast. Arggg, I thought, I feel sick, what have I done? I knew I should have not done it. Why did I take this medication, why can't I understand that this kind of medicine is not for me? Arggg, now I'm stuck in this nasty feeling, it's too late; now my peaceful days are over, I am done for, no one can help me now, I'm stuck in a stigma.
Mmm, is there a medication that will reverse the effects of Xanax?
What's the worst that could happen? Maybe if I just don't pay attention to my thoughts and fear, maybe if I don't focus on objects I wont notice my blurry sight and I won't worry. Maybe I'll just eat and enjoy a good meal.
Mmm, yea I'll just go to the all you can eat buffet and pig out. Oh yea good idea, I will eat and eat and eat and enjoy myself. I wonder how many of these people here around me are on this same medication. Maybe the whole world is on Xanax and I don't even know! Ha! Yea look at everyone they all look so calm, ha! We are all on this feeling. We're family! Woohoo! We're all on this endeavor.
I should not eat too much, lest the medication wears out or becomes subdued by the food. Should I take another Xanax? Mmm, not sure, I guess I could if I wanted to. I think the effect lasts about eight hours, then. I dont need another one, but what if right when I need it it wears out? Ah! Whatever, I'm just not going to worry, God is in control. He is God and I'm not.
But where was I? Oh, yes. What is this paranoia!
Written, Typen by My Father
