Being Lions

There came a time where we became lions, and it was strange; it was like being in a foreign land. But, just like being in a foreign land, if you're there long enough, well, you get used to it.

But the thing was that we weren't always lions. Sometimes we became humans again. It was just us five, and the whole world was against us.

I don't know how it happened, but we woke up in a sort of cave, and we looked at each other, and we were great, golden, majestic lions. We stepped out of our cave to find that all the other humans wanted to kill us, so we had a meeting. Vana spoke up and made a whole lot of sense.

"We're lions aren't we? Why don't we just eat the humans, of course being careful that they don't kill us?" Vana made sense.

Stealthily and near sundown, we crept out and mauled a whole lot of humans. We filled ourselves and found that we liked the taste of humans. We ate and ate and ate and ate and ate! It was even easier getting around at night and we returned to our cave.

When we got there we found that we had turned back into humans, but of course it was a bit strange having human blood all over us, so we all took a communal bath then hit our giant hot tub. There was a hot tub in our cave. We all fell asleep telling stories, Vid and La cuddling.

We woke up stinking like lions, but we didn't stink lions to ourselves... just to whoever wasn't a lion; we were lions again. La made us all breakfast out of left over human parts we had dragged in the night before.

Anette looked like she was having the most fun, and I wished I was as fresh as her.

"Let's run!" She roared.

We busted out of the cave and ran free and hard and fast and our manes were in the air... well mine and Vid's. The women didn't have manes, but that didn't bother Anette, La, and Vana. Okay it bothered Anette a little that Vid and I had great big flowing manes. She joked that she wanted a man's mane too. I kissed her. We roamed, we ran, we flew, we roared, and we killed a lot of humans.

The fighting became fun and fierce, so we returned to our cave, but it was blocked by the dirty humans. So we ran and we felt like we might faint.

Finally, Vid found another cave, a well hidden cave. The cave was hidden by moss and grass and leaves and greenery of all sorts of the most beautiful kind and you could hear the music of Kings of Leon (only the really melancholy, beautiful songs like "Comeback Story").

Anette was smart though, she peered into the cave, and sure enough there were giant, GIANT, hanging bats all over inside—but we were in trouble. Luckily we had turned into humans again. We were blood soaked humans though so we found a lagoon and soaked off the blood. We found a hotel, paid $250 for a good, big, fancy room. Anette left the window open for when we turned into lions again.

Around midnight the human-ness wore off, and we were wonderful lions again. We jumped out the window and sneaked back to the cave.

"Let's slowly walk in, so we don't wake up the monstrous bats," Anette the lioness said.

"Sounds good," we all agreed. So we crept in, and slept as lions sleep.

In the morning Vid and La crept slowly and carefully to the rest of us. They had an idea they had conjured up before the had fallen asleep in their lion arms together.

La said, "We're going to roar and scare all the bats, all the giant bats out, and they're going to go out all over the city and kill all the humans that are trying to kill us." So we did just that.

ROAR! ROAR! ROAR! ROAR! ROAR!

And the bats flew batshit crazy cray cray all over the city not leaving one citizen untouched or un-killed. All humans died that day.

We stood on a precipice and looked over all the land. We would be lions forever more and feed off the land. We would forever be beautiful, tall, golden lions. We were awesome as fuck. We thanked the Creator. Lions we were.

From then on, we were being lions.