He filled the tub up halfway with scalding water and then waited for it to turn into a temperature his body could handle--it was still hot as fuck when he got in, but that was the point, and it was cold as hell outside so it felt good.
He laid all the way down and only let his eyes and nose and forehead stick out.
He felt a rumble and his whole house was shaking, but this man was no ordinary man--he was a quick thinker.
He thought, "Well, I'm feeling good. The WHOLE fucking house is shaking. What can I do? Nothing. I'm going to keep letting my dick soak and feel good!" He stayed put; sat smiling and happy.
The house kept shaking like a desperately hungry monkey (that never learned how to climb) shaking a banana tree--poor stupid monkey will never get his banana. The house began falling all around the man, but the man stayed in his bathtub.
Finally, the whole house came down when a great wave crashed through and carried the man away in his bathtub full of warm water and the man still had pleasure in his dick.
The man peered over and saw that his bathtub was surfing; his bathtub was sailing. The man was now officially a sailor; he had always wanted to be a sailor; ever since he was a young boy. He was never able to be one, however, because he had gotten a dumb ass job and stayed put like he thought he was supposed to and he hated his life. Now he loved his life.
Off he sailed and he waved at all the drowning people.
Upon landing at an island he saw a monkey shaking a tree to get a banana. The monkey was unsuccessful, so he get out of his bathtub and helped the monkey get his banana--boy, were we wrong!
A man sitting in meditation a little ways away was humming beautiful music.
The bathtub man made his way over to him.
"Excuse me Mr Meditation Man, where are we? What is the meaning of life? What does it ALL mean?"
The Meditation Man politely replied, "Hey motherfucker! How the fuck am I supposed to know? Can't you see I'm trying to meditate here? I don't even know how to meditate! Leave me the fuck alone. Go find something else to do on the island, instead of bothering me. Find a way off this damned island why don't you!?"
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