A cool Mexican dude that was gonna jump the fence with me and dig the hard desert was next to me, "Hey ese man, what you gonna do on the other side? Where-a are you from-a ese, right?"
"Nah man, just go home. Fuckin' border patrol deported me even though I'm from San D-fuckin'-eggo."
"Ah ha ha man me too. I'm from San Diego too."
"Ah man whatever. What are YOU gonna do you ese vato motherfucker?"
"I'm gonna get gold."
"Well, the fuckin' gold is in California... the gold rush was in San Francisco mainly dude, so, good luck Diego."
"Ooooo thanks Danny."
We hauled the wall and jumped twenty fucking feet in the air. That motherfucker Diego could run! "See ya Diego!" He waved from far ahead. I got caught right away.
"Where you from sir?" They asked me in Spanish.
"From fuckin' San Diego, man!" I said in perfect English and no accent.
"Ya right beaner. You know what...?"
"What bitch ass patrol ass fuck? I got rights!"
"How about we drop you off in Guatemala this time? Yup. You're done for."
"Fuck!"
They packed me and thousands of other dudes, dudettes, kids, and animals like sardines and off we went--sailing the high seas!
It would have been a bitch to cross over from Guatemala to Mexico if wasn't for my dashing good looks and long beautiful hair and big man hands and winning smile and big ass dick. Don't ask what I did to cross over... I fucked a Mexican patrol woman.
This time I was lost as fuck and I asked around the southern tip of Mexico where I should go.
Oaxaca!
I got there easy by having sex with a bunch of ladies for "free" rides. I thought I would kick it in Oaxaca for a while because I heard it was a chill place.
There I was in the rolling green beautiful hills of Oaxaca smelling like shit and having no money so I found a rad lake and I bathed myself. I jumped into some people's house and stole new clothes. I was good to go!
I heard there was going to be a dance at the local center and that there would be at least 100 hot girls! Man I felt like Jack Kerouac himself! Just traveling the old fucking road, doing whatever the fuck, drinking, feeling and smelling good, and having a fine time.
The dance ended up being at a barn, but it was cool. It was like the whole of Oaxaca was stuck in the 1800s!
And there I saw her...
Maria!
I walked towards her and asked her to dance and she was excited and horny to dance with me. We danced for about half a song when all of a sudden a fierce creature of a woman jumped in between us and her 100 cousins took Maria away and beat the shit out of her.
She held onto me and we started dancing and I hadn't even seen her face yet.
She slithered around my body and I slithered my hands around her body touching her breasts and ass and legs slightly and lightly. She slid her hands over my crotch lightly and slightly. I grabbed her butt hard.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw five guys that looked like bulls raging towards me. I was dead. I was dead. I was dead. I was as good as dead. They would surely kill me because of the slithering skinny beautiful girl that was half raping me. They were probably her brothers, or boyfriends, or dads, or knows who the fuck they were, but they were mad as hell, and they were coming straight for me...
Nope! The 100 girl's cousins appeared out of nowhere and beat the shit out of the five raging bulls! I got to keep dancing with the queen of the ball.
"What's your name?" I whispered putting my mouth fully on her ear.
"Lizette." She licked into my ear in a way that made me instantly hornier than I already was. My dick pressed hard onto her as she pressed hard onto me too. She pulled her face away and finally looked me in the eyes.
She was more beautiful than two Maria's combined! And Maria was hot as fuck, so just imagine.
I would say that I was the luckiest man in the world, but considering how good looking I am too, I would say it was about even.
She whispered with her tongue in my ear, "I hate being on this dance floor with my clothes on and not in my room naked with you."
She took me by the hand and chased me off the dance floor as I got to finally see her body fully. She was wearing a short mini skirt that had slits up the sides and a loose Mexican button up long sleeve shirt that showed cleavage and that I think had only one button buttoned. I looked around and she drove the men wild. They wanted her and wanted to kill me, but they knew about the 100 cousins.
We didn't reach her room fast enough just a couple casitas away. We had the house all to ourselves. Luckily it was early in the night. We made love all night and it was wild and beautiful and we were out in the world in Oaxaca in Mexico in the North Western Hemisphere on planet Earth in outer space in the Milky Way out in the Universe and it was unbelievable and I had the greatest orgasm that lasted thirteen minutes at least, but I had more than one orgasm. I had countless orgasms and she had countless orgasms too. I sucked on her breasts. She moaned loud, "Yes! Give me more! You can't give me enough! Oh!" I loved her. She loved me. Two wild human animals.
The universe is vast and insane!
"I didn't want to tell you but I'm actually an Aztec princess and now you're gonna be rich with Aztec gold."
We fell asleep holding each other and her hair was on my face and our legs were all tangled up like when gum gets in your hair.
I woke up and watched her amazing naked body sleep gracefully like the beautiful fierce creature that she was. I thought about how she stole me from Maria and I smiled. I stole another glance at her butt crack and her breasts. I thought about how happy we'd be all rich and shit.
I went downstairs and saw all the 100 cousins sleeping everywhere. They looked crazy. I bet they're crazy.
I thought I'd go buy a shit load of food for when all the girls woke up, so I went to the market.
As soon as I stepped into town I was violently apprehended by a Mexican policeman, and he threw me into a fucking paddy wagon. Motherfucker!
"I know where you from asshole! I know!" He said in Spanish or English. "You're from the United States and we're deporting you back to America you faggot asshole."
"Noooooooo!!!!! Lizette!!!!!" I held onto the bars of the back window of the paddy wagon like in all those old movies.
My Aztec princess... would I ever see her again?
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