This fat boy walked in to class and I could tell he was in a bad mood too. He stopped at the entrance to the room and looked around sullenly for a seat. He pulled down on his big ass shirt to make sure his fatness wasn't hanging out I guess and his hair was all shitty and just dry, but he looked clean enough. I could just read his mind: "yea yea, i'm fat, but i'm not going to let you all think i'm fucking dirty too. you all just want to talk shit in your minds about how i'm fat, but at least i'm clean. motherfuckers."
He spotted me and figured me for a fellow world-hater so he made his way over to sit by me--he probably had grand ideas about how our angst would somehow create a black hole and the class would collapse into our darkness.
We did the "what's up" nod and then I felt bad for thinking about his fatness and noticing him pulling his big ass shirt down with his chubby hands.
Some girl walked in late as all hell and spoke to the teacher in some midwestern accent; she was dressed like a nun. She was probably from Akron, Ohio. There was something cute about her, but she seemed lost in California. She looked around with a worried expression on her face; nobody in class wanted anything to do with her and her non-California-ness.
As usual, the teacher had a really original idea: everyone in the room had to introduce themselves, and say what the fuck they were doing in this class.
The big guy's name was Fat Boy and he was just killing time at school because his grandpa was paying for his education. Nobody cared and nobody was impressed.
Everybody else said regular, cool, jaded, California things, and all fellow Californians laughed at each other's cool witty comments. Californians stick together like gay dickheads.
Then, from across the room Miss Akron, Ohio introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Thong. I'm from Akron, Ohio. I'm loving California... I don't miss Akron at all." She said enthusiastically. Fat Boy laughed aloud by himself and then shut up real fast. He sank in his chair and I could tell he quickly developed a deep hatred for Thong because she had fucked him over and embarrassed him.
I caught a quick glance the little nun shot over at Fat Boy.
The next day Akron Nun Girl had transformed into Wannabe Californian Bro Hoe Girl. She strutted her shit right into class to the chagrin and dismay of the rest of the class--everyone except Fat Boy. His hate for her dissipated a little bit. I looked at her then at him and then at her and then at him. She was so awkward. She was talking to the teacher again, but this time she was sticking her butt out and showing off her awesome midriff and even more awesome thong. Don't' get me wrong, she was cute as hell.
You know how after the first day of class you kind of expect everyone to sit in the same fucking place they did before? You don't want anyone to fuck with the way things are!
Everyone was so uncomfortable with the way she was dressed.
Little miss Thong shoved her ass right over and sat next to Fat Boy; on his left. "Hi." She smiled at him, sitting all crazy and shit. Fat Boy was so happy and just looked at her and then looked at his desk quickly. He looked at me and I nodded at him and raised my right eyebrow suggesting that the girl was hot or interested in him or something. He laughed. We were all happy and comfortable in the back row. Bunch of fucking losers.
All of a sudden Fat Boy and Thong were in their own little/big world. They didn't give a fuck what we all thought, and Fat Boy really liked that thong.
There was happiness in the world.
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