That Hustle Mama

My eyes popped off right open and wide opened.  Them lids just flashed back just like that.  Shit was quiet all around and it was only ten days before Christmas.  I was keeping track of the days 'till Christmas, and I was keeping track of that fat wad of cash that was growing under my mattress.

I stared down that motherfucker Alarm Clock.  It was 4:58am.  Why does my brain always turn on right before the alarm clock goes off?  Something about an internal clock.  Whatever.

4:59 and 43 seconds... 4:59 and 51 seconds... I turned it off before it went off.  No use in waking my baby too.  There was enough suffering in the world with me waking up.  No need to compound the misery that the world groans under by waking up my baby too.  Nobody ever really wants to wake up, do they?  Don't we all just want to be peacefully asleep for like ever and dreaming cool, nice dreams?  I don't know.

My kid walked up to my bed and tugged at the sheets.

"Momma, you awake?  Are you leaving now?  Are you going to work?  It's almost Christmas, right?"

"Yes, I'm up.  You have an internal alarm clock too?"

"Yes.  What is a manternal-ma-long-block, mama?"

The tap, tap, tap came at the door.  I let the neighbor in.  Our apartments weren't too bad.  She lived a couple floors up, and she took care of my daughter, for real fucking cheap.

"Be nice to Consuela Ju-Ju-Bee.  I'll see you when I get back from work.  Thanks, Consuela.  See ya later."

"No problem miss Avenger."  They left, and I went back to my room to get dressed.

Miss Avenger: I gave her a fake name for no fucking reason.  I don't know why I did that--just being silly I guess.  It sounded more bad ass than miss Minchin; that's for sure.  That wasn't my name either--just saying.  I noticed myself in a mirror and thought: my name should be miss Hot Mess.  Fuck it.

I was dressed and ready to serve the world, to get mine.  I reached in between my mattress and box-spring and pulled out my fat, black glock; I admired it.  Either this city was going to eat my daughter and me alive, or I was going to end up having to use this motherfucker.  A false dichotomy?  No.  This city is a rampaging monster, but I'm a mad woman.

I walked out of my apartment, and into the indoor hallway of our building.  I locked up behind me and heard a voice down the way, "Excuse me, do you know where the bathroom is?"

This guy looked worse than I did, and he was walking fast toward me.

I pulled my gun out, and he just kept coming, "Hey stop right there!"  No.  He just kept coming.

"What are you going to do wit dat?  Come here honey.  I'm a rapist!  Arg!"  Stumbling and falling toward me, that's what rapists say, right before they rape you.

Then my ears started ringing from all the lead I was unloading on him.

Deaf, I looked up.  Suddenly, it occurred to me that it probably wasn't a good idea to try to shoot someone, while closing my eyes, head cocked downward.

I saw this wild man on the ground holding his belly and grunting like a dying man.  I had blasted the poor old rapist in the gut!  There was blood everywhere!  "Help me... you old... haggard... bitch!  Help me please."  As he sat up against the wall, his belly was vomiting blood all over the goddamn place.  I sat down next to him; he smelled like shit and alcohol.  I was sitting in a pool of blood.  I placed my left palm flat on the ground, immersing it in blood.  I was beside myself--don't you understand that I was in shock?  "Help me," the old fool died out.

I whispered, "I killed you, you old fool," as I put my left arm around his shoulders, the gun hanging loosely in my right hand.

An old ass Asian lady (she must have been 73) neighbor came out and saw us, "You kill him."  And she pointed at me.

I was exhausted, "Yes."

"Give gun to me.  Policeman come.  You no want to be trouble," she said gravely and Asian-ly, as her eyes widened.  She bent over; she took the gun; she put it in her apron.  I was starting to black out.  The lady said, "You lie to policeman when he come.  I give back you gun when safe.  Fuck the policeman.  They always trouble me when I play my rock and roll loud," and she was gone.

I heard the police coming up the stairs.  I pushed the old fool over and started frantically searching his pockets for any money.  I pulled out two giant stacks of cash and shoved them deep into my purse.  Then I pulled my wallet out and left it next to my purse.  I closed my purse and jumped on top of the old fool and tried to cover his stomach wounds with my hands, "help!"

"Ma'am!  What happened here?"  Human police dogs.

"Some crazy man shot this man and ran off!  He went down the stairwell that leads to the alleyway!  This man is dying!"  I just kept pushing hard on his wounds.  "He's bleeding out!"

"Ma'am.  Step away.  He's dead.  You were very lucky.  We have been looking for this man for a long time.  He has raped many women and robbed many rich people in the last couple of days.  He went by The Rape Thief."

I looked blankly at the cop, and then I fainted.  I woke up sitting against the wall, and a paramedic was taking care of me.

"Miss..."

"My husband's name was William Tully."

"Mrs. William Tully, is your husband--"

"He's been dead a long time.  Someone killed him, and he couldn't stop himself from being killed."

"Mrs. Tully, you're in shock.  Please try to relax.  Here's some drugs.  Eat up."

All I could see was blood, and I wondered when I would get the chance to kill again.  Gotta hustle around here.  Now I had some extra capital to add to my wad.  I had some money to spend for Christmas and hopefully some money to get out of this shit hole.  My daughter would be so happy.  I put my left palm to my face.  The blood was still hot.