Chapter 1
Oh shit, I thought to myself. I didn't open my eyes yet, as I started waking up. I didn't know where I was yet, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know.With my eyes half closed, I threw my arms wide and felt around for a bottle. Shit. No bottle. I opened my eyes fully and sat the fuck up on whatever bed I was in. I looked around. Very good. Very good. I was in my quarters. I stretched out hard, and looked at the clock: 0500 on the dot.
Ok. Fuck it. I'll take a break from the bottle, for now.
Hungover or still drunk, I got up and stumbled around for the shower, then I stopped, stood erect, and looked around to see if anybody else was in the room. There was a body under the sheets in the bed. Fuck.
Then, BANG, BANG, BANG, motherfucking, BANG, BANG, BANG, at the fucking door. It startled the shit out of me, and I clasped my ears with my filthy, hungover hands.
"What?" I roared out.
"Second Lieutenant, we're ready for you."
"Son of a bitch! Just call me Lieutenant, you bastard! Who are you?"
"It's Sergeant DeMatteo, sir."
"Get the fuck in here, you son of a bitch."
"Yes sir."
DeMatteo stepped inside, ready and dressed for combat, "Second... I mean, Lieutenant?" He looked away at my impressive nudity.
"Sergeant, sneak the young lady out of my quarters, right now. I don't give a fuck if anyone sees. Just sneak her out."
"Did you have a good time last night, sir?"
"You bet I did... Well, I think I did. Yes. Yes I did."
"That's great sir. I'll sneak her out, and we'll be waiting outside."
"Alright. Get the fuck out of here you son of a bitch Sergeant DeMatteo, if that is your real name," I was more on the drunk side than on the hungover side.
The sergeant grabbed the young lady's clothes, and then roughly threw her over his shoulder, "Sir," and began making his way out.
"Goddamnit, DeMatteo, you fucking guinea spic. Keep it down, and sneak her out, you bastard."
"Yes sir, Second Lieutenant," he smiled. Her tits were flying everywhere, and she was grumbling, almost inaudibly, and then they were out the door.
Motherfucker that spic. Goddamn local beauties. I should be more careful. I hoped she would be ok.
I made some coffee. I drank it. It was black and hot as hell. I took a bunch of Advil. I took one Xanax. I jumped into the shower, shaved, and, standing there, I dozed off a couple of times. Finally, I got out of the shower and into my combat gear. I ate some cold, leftover eggs and a bagel, drank some dirty water, walked outside, and got blinded by the sun.
I heard some shuffling, as the small band of Marines I was in charge of came together and made a weak attempt at military formalities. We had been lost; shot at; starving; and sleepless for a long time--now you know why we were all so tired; it was hard to maintain military customs. As I waited for my eyes to not be blacked out, I shouted out, "Ten-hut motherfucks! Attention!" I rubbed my eyes, and then I squinted until I could see, using one of my hands to try and shade my eyes from the omnipresent sun.
"Sergeant DeMatteo! Someone speak up! Where is the Gunny?" I could see better now, and I saw that we all looked terrible.
"Sir! The Gunny took thirty men northwest, to look for more men and weapons and to weed out more of the enemy, per your directions from yesterday, sir."
"How many of us are left, Garbanzo Bean?"
"Sir, with the two Privates that just showed up..."
"Fuck. Go on."
"Sir, that makes eighteen of us, including you."
"I'm in no mood GB. I'm no mood to hang out with all of you. We'll be going north. Contact the Gunny and tell him we'll all be meeting at the rendezvous past the two hills and right of the three trees, but left of the seven goats. There should be a couple of mansions with electricity and water there, hopefully as nice as this one. We'll rest there. The trip is about thirty miles for all of us. GB you will take the north route; kill all enemy; bring women and children with you, if possible. If not, kill them. Bring all weapons you find. Let DeMatteo know that my orders for him are to bring all enemy and our own POWs he encounters and to kill all civilians. GB, you take the fourteen men with you. I will take the two Privates, go northeast, and then we'll turn northwest and meet up with the rest of the company. Where are those two fucks?"
"Sir, are you sure you don't want a couple extra men, sir?"
"Sergeant Gallo, you take the fourteen men with you and head straight north. What time is it, anybody?"
"Sir, zero seven hundred, sir."
"Ok, thank you Sergeant."
"Sir, yes sir. Hemingway! Darwin! Sir, see you tonight, sir."
"Be safe, Sergeant. Thank you."
Two friends came around a corner, dressed in their combat gear and looking fresh and clean, as DB's troop jog-trotted north. They stopped in front of me and looked straight ahead. They were still very disciplined. They must have not been out here long. Fucking privates.
"I don't mean to put you two in danger, and I'm sorry to your mothers, but it is best if you get a crash course in surviving out here. No gradual acclimating out here. You'll die within a couple hours if we take it slow. You'll probably die during this crash course, but it gives you better odds than slowly learning how to survive this hell hole. That is why I decided for only the three of us to go west. Being only three, we are much more vulnerable, so you will have to learn fast or die. You must be sharp at all times. You must be stressed at all times. I need you both to turn into thirty-five year old war-hardened veterans, within a couple days, or you will die. I'm not going to die, but you might. So stay sharp. Fucking Privates. You have to be kidding me."
"Sir, yes sir," both of them.
"What are you guys fucking best friends, or what?"
"Sir, we're friends sir," Hemingway confidently.
"Private Hemingway, what is your first name?"
"Erne--"
"Never mind. I don't want to know."
"Private Darwin, is that your first or last name?"
"Sir, I only have one name, sir."
"Well you seem like a depressed fuck, Private Darwin. Fuck it. I'm not going to ask. One of you, tell me how you ended up joining my diminished company."
"Well Second Lieutenant--,"
"Lieutenant. Call me Lieutenant."
"Sir, we landed about ten miles east of here, about--"
"Shut up Darwin. Hemingway, tell me what happened."
"Sir, we landed a bit off from here. Right when we landed mortar fire hit us from every direction. I saw Darwin on the ground. I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder. I ran toward the enemy. I asked them to fix Darwin. They fixed him and told me he'd be alright. They thanked me and went north. I looked back and saw all of our men dead and in bits. We went the opposite way of the enemy, and your company found us, sir."
"Interesting," I was spacing the fuck out, staring into the deep blue and bright sky. "Alright privates. Give me fifty, and then we'll get going." They gave me fifty, and then we got going.
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