The Color of the Sky: of Angels and Bums

My hands gripped the lip of one of those big green trash cans–––the kind in alleyways or wherever.

My head hung down low between my arms, as slaver slowly dribbled down my lips and out my mouth; my mouth was slightly ajar; my eyes were slightly ajar; my soul was…

I wondered what my hair looked like. I was in an ever familiar alleyway, and at the mouth of this alleyway was the threshold to the rest of the world–––the world that operated by normative behaviors. I tried to look beyond the trashcan, but the light at the mouth blinded me a little; I let my eyes slide down to where they belonged–––looking down.

Oh ya. I had a full bottle of good gin in my pocket–––too bad it was only like a pint. I drank half of it fast, so I could get dizzy faster. Real quick the liquid made itself at home in my gut, and I felt great.

I hid my bottle somewhere on my body and looked into the dumpster (that's what they're called!).

"Hey you! Wake up!" Some girl was sleeping straight up in the dumpster. I felt silly and good. I wondered what my hair looked like.

"Wake up you girl! WEIRD!"

I walked to the mouth of the alleyway. I straightened my clothes and pushed my hair back; I was too bearded I think.

Man, I walked with some swag. I walked hard. I walked upright and straight (in my head that's how I looked). Some magical sparkles settled on my baby blues (my eyes had magically turned blue); they let me see everything at the same time, and everything was beautiful.

Fuck. I gotta go look good. I looked up at the sky and saw millions and billions and trillions of white angels flying around, making the sky white with specks of screaming blues…happy blues…not sad blues, as are common.

Luckily, nobody knew me in this town.

The angels began to sing a One Republic song, so I started dancing down the streets; oh there were many people everywhere; I mean it musta been New Yok or sumthin.

I was happy dancing the streets, when one twirling, falling angel caught my eye. The angel floated and twirled down the sky like a falling feather, but a little faster and more gracefully.

Drunkenly, I stared transfixed and soaked in happiness. I could feel my face having a sagging, drunken, happy disposition. I musta looked like a drunk Disney cartoon. I stumbled back and almost fell before leaning against a damn wall. My drunk eyes followed the angel. It flowed toward me. Its eyes were black.

BAMO. The motherfucker landed right in front of my drunk ass. The people that flowed like a river of flesh avoided us on the sidewalk and thus walked around us.

Me: "Your…your…your eyes are…they're pretty…black huh?" I pointed right into the angel's face.

The Angel: "They are black diamonds. Dance your ass right back to that trashcan. Do you even remember where you were or what you did before you were at that trashcan?"

Me: "Why…yes I do…no I don't…yes, that's right…I don't remember at all. I was just gripping the…the…the…the…the…the trashcan, and I think I was almost gonna puke, but I feel real good right now."

The Angel: "Well, you're almost about to forget everything again. Go back to the trashcan. Finish your bottle and lie down inside the trashcan with the woman. Keep her warm. Didn't you see what she was wearing?"

Me: "Barely anything at all, actually…I think…if I remember, no?"

Angel: "Yes."

Me: "You're beautiful Angel. I can easily dance my way back there."

Angel: "Thank you. You're beautiful too. Now don't fucking ruin this. Hurry up, and get in that damn trashcan before the cops find you. I'm telling you the right thing to do."

Me: "Okay, bye pretty angel with black diamond eyes."

Angel: "Bye Danny. Take care you fool."

Me: "Yes…yes…yes…yes."

I danced fluidly back to the trashcan as the angel made its way back to the amazing ocean of angels that covered our sky. The color of sky was angels. I got to the trashcan and looked in, "Hi weird girl." Oh shit I was feeling pretty drunk. I took the bottle out of my jacket and drank the 75% that was still left in it. I threw the bottle into the dumpster. Getting dizzy (in a good way) I took off my jacket and threw it over the young woman. I found I had another jacket on underneath the one I had just taken off.

I clambered into the trashcan I stood up on the soft trash bags and cardboard; it was all relatively clean; good I thought, very good. I reached over and brought the lids down over us. Just then I heard sirens pass down the street, and then just then after that I heard rain begin to fall, but we were safe. I hugged the woman and fell asleep or passed out or blacked out.

"Wake up, man."

"Huh? Oh hi. Are you okay?"

"Did we…?"

"No," I grabbed my head, "No we didn't do anything. An angel told me to come lie down with you in here."

"You don't remember me?"

"Nope. Are you okay?" I felt better already. Maybe I was still drunk.

She cuddled up, "You'll remember me and everything later. Let's sleep some more."

"Yup," I closed mine eyes, and I was gone into a deep good sleep and she smelled good. Maybe the angel made this a good smelling dumpster or maybe her smell took it all away or maybe it just didn't smell in here.

"Hey," I whispered into her ear.

"Yes?"

"I want to like everything you like."

"I want to like everything you like too."

"Okay. And I want to love you."

"You already love me. You'll remember everything later."

"Do you love me too?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. We'll be safe. Thank you for not leaving me in here."

"Well, I just listened to the angel."

"Thank you for listening to the angel."

"Did you know angels make up the color of the sky?"

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Two Angels and One Archangel

I had already died a long time ago. Time in heaven was weird. You see we're always waiting for another second, another minute, another hour, another day to go by—not so in heaven. Time is different in heaven. There's never another moment, neither one past, nor one coming up. Everything and all just is.

So, I had my hands in my pockets (and in heaven you don't even have hands or pockets), and I was walking around, just saying hello to folks.

The angels kind of keep to themselves, because they're a little bit different; we don't quite understand them, and they don't quite understand us. There is a lot in heaven that is not quite understood. I thought that once I got to heaven I would know everything. That wasn't the case.

I slowed down by two angels that were having some kinda argument. Sometimes, if the angels noticed that you were listening to them, they'd fly off somewhere to the Angel's Lounge, so that you wouldn't listen to their strange conversations.

"Hey shhhh Billy. Let me grab a cigarette," one angel whispered to the other, as I walked by in my heaven outfit.

"Man motherfucker, I ain't got no cigarettes, and I ain't had no cigarettes for a long time now, and you know that," the other was annoyed.

I bent over and picked up a bug, so that it would seem like I wasn't listening to them.

"Well, I want a cig man. Do you think we outta stop smoking?"

"Shit dude, if I got a cig right now I'd smoke it, but it fucking sucks. Once I start smoking, I need one to go to sleep."

"Ya, me too. Fuck."

"Let's go ask Gabriel if he has smokes. He's in and knows whoever to get smokes all the time."

"Ha ha! Yous crazy. You wanna ask an archangel for a smoke? He gon beat our asses you dumb ass."

"Man, I'm tired and now that you bring it up, I want a smoke. Fuck it. Let's ask him and be respectful."

"I'm in."

"Hey human," the second angel was addressing me—fuck.

I picked up a Lady Bug and turned, acting as if I hadn't been listening, "What do you angels want? What do you want? Go mind your own business. I'm trying to admire the bugs here can't you see?" I had to act annoyed, because humans were a little higher on the totem pole in heaven.

"Hey we mean no disrespect. We're gonna go get smokes from Gabriel, and we were wondering if you'd come with us. Gabriel is nicer when we're with humans. Do us a solid?"

I had to keep acting annoyed, "Man, I don't even fucking smoke. Why y'all even smoke? And why y'all wanna go bother Gabriel? He's gonna fuck us all up. Just get some of Jesus' wine and shut the fuck up."

"Nah, homie, we just haven't smoked in a while. Don't make us beg," this was the second angel talking to me the whole time.

"OK. Fuck it. I'm up for some trouble. On one condition: what's y'alls' names?"

The angels looked at each other, and the second one spoke up, "Fuck it. I'm Billy, and this is Jeremy. You know we're not suppose to get to know each o' too good. Yous humans suppose to be mo' respected."

"Man, don't tell me how it is up here. We been up here fo' a long ass time fool," I countered.

"Let's go then?" — Billy.

"Ya man, let's role...how do you guys even know where Gabriel is? He's a fucking big shot," I wondered.

"He's always behind the Angel's Lounge in the alleyway," Jeremy the angel finally spoke up.

"OK. Let's get you guys some smokes, if Gabriel will hook you up."

We walked a ways, we flew a couple million miles, we went through different warp-holes, we passed a millennia of old-school vets, we loved a million women, we flew through space, we made friends, we prayed to Jesus, we were holy, and we finally arrived behind the Angel's Lounge.

"Alright human—"

"Dude, my name is Danny."

"Sorry...Danny, go behind the alleyway, and say hello to Gabriel, and then me and Jeremy will come up behind you, and you'll acknowledge us. That'll impress Gabriel."

"Whatever."

I straightened my suit out. I put my hands in my pocket, and I started whistling 'Wake Up Dead Man," by U2, and I walked briskly behind the Angel's Lounge.

WOW. I saw him. I hadn't seen Gabriel in a long time. It was always awesome in the best sense of the word. He was just a huge fucking spectacular warrior of an angel. He was an angel that could take out an army of angels. I had never spoken to him before. He was surrounded by about five angel women. There were no humans in sight. I knew I was going to be respected because Jesus had died for us, but I was still very intimidated.

Gabriel saw me and instantly turned around and addressed me, "Lord, what are you doing around these parts? Please let me know how I can help you."

WOW. He was totally talking to me, "Archangel Gabriel, no need to call me Lord. Thank you for everything you've done for the kingdom."

"No need to thank me for anything. Always thank the LORD. How can I help you?"

"Oh...," I didn't know what to say. I thought the dumbass normal angels would have showed up by now, "Tell me. What was it like fighting the devil and his demons?"

The women angels giggled, and I felt like a fool. Gabriel looked at them condescendingly and they shut the hell up.  He spoke to me, "It was no joke Danny. They only look for blood and would like nothing more than to see me dead and non-existent. At every moment, they dream for my death, for the death of you, for the death of Jesus, God, and the Holy Ghost. They only have one goal on their minds: death."

"I see," I was terrified all of a sudden.

"Yes. Michael and I must worry about their wellbeing, about protecting humans, and about protecting our army of angels, and making sure that they don't take any more angels or people to their side. So, they only have one goal, and Michael and I have many goals and rules to abide by. So—to answer your question—it's a bitch, but God gives us strength, and we believe in Love, sir."

"I'm impressed Michael...I mean Gabriel! Sorry!" I fucked up.

"It's OK. It happens once in a while. There's only two of us, after all—"

That's when Jeremy and Billy showed up.

"Lord Danny, good to see you again," they both recited at the same time, and I knew they had been practicing that stupid phrase.

I turned hard and glared at them, "No need to call me Lord. I was just on my way out. Please enjoy your Lounge."

And then Billy spoke up, "Oh hello Gabriel sir. We didn't mean to interrupt," and Jeremy gave me a hard look.

Ah poor angels, I thought. They just wanted their damn cigarettes. I turned around.

"Gabriel, fine soldier and worshiper of Jesus, would you happen to have a cigarette or two. I have been drinking Jesus's wine for a couple millennia now, and I am getting a craving for some nicotine. I hope I am not insulting you by asking you," I played it off just fine.

"Lord Danny—"

"Please archangel Gabriel, do not call me Lord."

"Danny, let me send you off with a couple crates of cigarettes for your journeys."

"I would appreciate that."

And so the archangel Gabriel brought out a couple crates of cigarettes for me to take on the road, and I responded to him, "archangel Gabriel, give my best to Michael if you see him. I actually have a date with Jesus and a wife I used to have on Earth; her name is Lise Louiselle Marie Martineau. We are going to have some wine. Do you mind if I use these useful angels to help me carry these crates of cigarettes? I have known Jeremy and Billy for some time now, but if you need to speak to them, I can call other angels to help me."

"Absolutely not, please take Billy and Jeremy. They are fine angels, and I will be calling upon them for promotions soon," and then Gabriel addressed the angels, "Jeremy, please take care and say hello to your mother; you have been a great angel, and I am promoting you soon. Billy, please stop causing trouble and I will not demote you. I have a mission for you soon, and if you undertake it successfully, I will not demote you, and I will even consider promoting you. Do not fail Lord Danny, and if you do he will tell me of his troubles. Take care, all of you. Goodbye."

The angels knew better than to respond, and they simply bowed to Gabriel. Me on the other hand, "Alright Gabriel. Take care, and don't give the ladies too much of a hard time!" He laughed and I laughed, and we waved at each other goodbye.

"Enjoy your smokes Billy...Jeremy," I handed the crates over to them.

"So are you really going to have dinner with Jesus?" Jeremy was cool.

"Yup, Jeremy. I'm pretty tight with him. Listen, both of you, look me up. Let's hang out whenever. You guys are fun guys. I'll talk to you soon, OK?"

"You got it Lord Danny!" They both accidentally jinxed themselves.

"Don't call me Lord Danny—Just Danny."